“Look, there’s Vincent Gallo,” remarks one Sleater-Kinney fan at the Camden Barfly.
No, they weren’t referring to the film star, but myself – having eulogised the wonder of having sex with Mr Gallo again as part of an intro medley of Legend! songs at the ICA the previous night. That one was fun; some dude I’d played table tennis against asked if he could drum with us on stage – it gave him something to do. Turned out to be Sam from one of my favourite Brighton bands, The Go Team. Neat. He flurried and spanked his way through an array of enthusiastically tackled cover versions – the Modern Lovers’ ‘Morning Of Our Lives’ went down far better than it should’ve done, especially seeing as how Jon and Kelly had absolutely no idea where to fit in the chorus, but there again it’s a great song – and ‘originals’. Carrie Brownstein remarked afterwards she particularly enjoyed how I asked the crowd whether they wanted me to “do a spoken word number or finish up” and then didn’t give them a choice and launched straight into the spoken word. People laughed: some even heckled and cheered. No sobbing. I was distracted by how easily you could see people entering and leaving at the back of the hall, and said so. Television Personalities’ ‘Someone To Share My Life With’ and the Daniel Johnston cover were also appreciated…but again, good songs. My intro threw my band off, somewhat – especially as I changed my mind over what I was doing seconds before opening my mouth.
“I’ve now seen you perform four times, and you’re totally different each time,” remarked Rose Pipette afterwards. I took it as a compliment.
On London Bridge station later, I distinctly heard someone say “Modern Lovers” as I walked past. Cool.

Start of the second evening, I asked: “Anyone see Sleater-Kinney last night?” A few cheers sounded. “Anyone see my set?” Again, a few cheers broke out. “Then you can all bugger off back to the bar and get yourselves a drink because we’re going to do exactly the same set. Exactly.” No one moved, and even odder, the room remained in total silence during the set – bereft of Sam, but with Jon Slade and Kelly playing way more in time, even sometimes the same song. First song, an a cappella Billie Holiday number, I forgot the final verse and there was this very peculiar 20-second gap of silence before I returned to the music stand to sing it. Nice. Someone remarked afterwards that I was extremely intimidating on stage. I thought I was a deadpan laugh riot, like Calvin Johnson. Serious. ‘Talk Open’ got extended to 10 minutes – a frenzy of guitars and wailing – during which I freely improvised about loneliness and death and phones ringing that aren’t there. Cheerful stuff.
Watched some of Sleater-Kinney after, to reassure myself that the ladies are still as powerful and emotionally charged as before. (They are.) Gutted that Janet Weiss didn’t drum with us – she offered but rescinded when she realised we were first on.
Thoroughly enjoyed The Long Blondes even if they didn’t play my favourite (Christmas) song and have clearly watched too many Pulp videos for their own goods: “They sound like they all used to play ska-punk when they were younger,” remarked a passing Plan B staff writer. I took it as a compliment. I’m not sure he meant it that way.