i got sick. i got rolling around on the floor in slow motion with my hood up sick. i got doubled-up in bed with the heating on full blast and my hood up breathing too fast sick. i next day i got a bit better and had a good practice and maybe overdid it and got sick again.
and music. i seem to be listening to music again, after the last few months being cut-off from my regular supply of all the CDs from ETs promo pile that had interesting covers (this is how i find new music - has to have a nice cover) since he went all ebay on my ass i finally stopped downloading 5 million gigabyte .pdf ADVERTS and started downloading music. already i have a shared-folder list longer than both arms. i’m ravenous. i’m trying everything and anything, stuff i knew about but never got around to buying, stuff i knew about but could never find, track 1 from every band with a cool name i never heard of before, getting all excited when someone i never met downloads my own band. music seems to be saving my life all over again. it’s been a while. current favourites include the books, burning witch, os mutantes, battles, delia derbyshire, black dice, jandek (alwys room for more jandek), ethiopian jazz 1969-1974, experimental dental school, sumatran folk & pop compilation, malaysian gamelan (kinda like indonesian but less mechanical, more fruity), a whole new caroliner double album from last year i never knew existed and more more more…

yesterday i dropped in on an old friend in his empty furnitureless flat and no fridge and ate shortbread and tea with powdered milk. last night i woke up 4 times in the space of 2 hours drenched in sweat and went to sleep on the floor in the lounge at 2.30am. then maki woke me up because i’d been screaming the house down. it was only 15 minutes later. and the weird thing is i thought i was still awake looking at the door and the door didn’t move or anything and i didn’t see her come into the room but then it was like -snap- she was waking me up and the door was open, and i’d been screaming.
after that i didn’t sleep. so i’m a bit fried.